An unlikely
conversation
A story from
prison
Praise the Lord who heals
the brokenhearted”
Responsorial,
Sunday, February 4th.
“I know what Jesus tells us, but do I have to
be her friend?” An inmate (I will call her Sue) posed this question in an
ongoing group. She then described a recent incident “While I was speaking to
another woman in the lunch line I heard my name shouted repeatedly by an
inmate. She is a person who latches on and won’t let go. I responded to her from
anger and now feel guilty.” Sue said she feels haunted as to how she ought to
relate to this person and further commented: “In this prison there are several
inmates whom no one seems to like. I call them ‘throw away people,’ because many
seem in agreement and experience them as a pain, a nuisance, aggressive, bothersome
and a burden. No one will defend them. I don’t know how to deal with these
women myself. I feel the same way as the others, but I know in my heart it is
not right to treat them this way. I feel bad for them, they have had difficult
lives and yet when I try and befriend them, they consume all my time. What I
really want to know is, just how far does the mandate of Jesus “to love your
neighbor as yourself go?” This generated much conversation in the group. 
In subsequent meetings Sue reported that she
had made the decision to treat this woman with kindness and to be less reactive
to her, and this behavior was proving to be helpful. She continued this
practice, and at one meeting announced “You know, now that I have gotten to
know this woman and understand a little more about her life I like her and feel
myself opening up to becoming her friend.”
Then it happened. A woman
who rarely spoke in the group raised her hand and spoke in a soft halting voice
“It is hard for me to talk, but I feel like I am one of those throw away people.
Even as a child I felt that way. My family life was chaotic, so much arguing,
fighting and meanness. I prayed and begged my parents to take me to an orphanage
and leave me. That didn’t happen and my life only got worse.” In the room, it
seemed as though time stopped. The others in the group embraced her with
empathy and understanding. From that day forward she joined the group
sharing more of herself as she grew in her own self-import and love.
“Praise the Lord who heals the brokenhearted”
Sr. Aileen Bankemper, OSB
