My brother has been an invalid for 20 years. During this
time he has been able to feed himself with his one good hand and walk from room
to room with a walker. His family worked out a schedule and helped him with all
other needs. His pain has led to depression and addiction to his pain
medication. About two months ago he simply gave up and could no longer feed
himself, walk from one room to another, or even want to try. All he could do
was scream for the pain medication.
His “residence” has changed from Christ Hospital to Drake
Care Center, where he made minimal progress. Currently he is at Mt. Washington
Care Center. When I visit him, it is difficult not to burst into tears and run
from the room. How painful it was to see my only brother so very clear in mind
and so totally helpless in body. I managed to contain the tears until I got
back to the monastery and let the tears flow.
Having visited him several times, I no longer feel depressed
but am filled with gratitude. I thank and praised God that I can get out of bed
by myself, stand up, walk, and take a refreshing shower. I experience deep
gratitude that I can get my hand to my mouth to enjoy a cup of coffee. I feel
truly alive, positive and take nothing for granted. There is a new pleasure in
going down the steps to chapel to pray with the community. I am shocked that I
have taken for granted so many of God’s gifts. When I ironed the linens used
for Eucharist yesterday, I praised and thanked God for my ability to iron for
the Lord. I asked God to open my eyes and grace me with a moment to moment
gratitude for God’s overwhelming goodness to me in my senior years. I ask the
Lord that this grace of gratitude may be ongoing. I made a mental picture of a
poster that reads, “Live with an attitude of gratitude.”Then I wrote that quote
on my heart.
