Power and Pitfalls of Non-verbal Communication

     The other day as we began morning prayer, I made the sign of the cross and was suddenly struck with the power of this silent act. What hit me wasn’t the meaning, but rather how much an unadorned action can say:

* I believe in Christ’s saving act

            * I believe in and live Christianity

            * I acknowledge how much God loves me

            * I am committed at this moment to both

                      personal and communal prayer … 

     I could go on, but you get the idea. An intriguing development, though, was that this flash of insight later took me further afield. My background in communication kicked in, and I thought about other forms of non-verbal communication. These often silent actions also have multiple meanings but are much more easily misunderstood. 

     Here are some examples of wordless communication and a few multiple meanings:

*Silence in a conversation – Agreement… Disapproval

            … Questioning .... No comment …

*A shrug – Don’t know …Don’t care… Doesn’t  

           matter … Who knows …

*A smile – Gladness … Embarrassment… Self-   

           consciousness .... Nervousness ….

*A frown – Puzzlement … Sadness … Disagreement…

           Aching joints or an upset stomach ... 

     Interpreting silence, facial expressions, or voice intonations can lead to greater empathy in listening to someone’s story. On the other hand, it can be a tricky business. I think all of us need to be a little less certain of what we think we are hearing in a conversation; we need to check it out. This is especially true when people are strangers or there is a history of friction. 

     As with church rituals, the non-verbal fleshes out human interaction with much richness. Ritual actions in worship, however, can fall prey to becoming repetitive, even mindless. The non-verbal elements of our interpersonal interactions can lead us into traps of their own, such as a false sense of certainty about others. 

     Both these forms of silent communication need attention now and then. This Easter season may be a good time to refresh the nuances of both good worship and good  listening.

      Sr. Colleen Winston, OSB