Return on Investment

                A year or so ago I started exchanging gratitude text with a friend each day. The text became a source of connection and mutual accountability for taking time each day to acknowledge the positive in our lives. Recently, I’ve taken the practice as routine without much thought on its larger impact. That changed last week.

                In a moment of mindless hurriedness, I locked my keys in the car. What I hoped would result in a quick resolution became a two and half hour wait for assistance.  After my initial frustration with myself my focus shifted. I noticed the beautiful fall afternoon as I waited by the car.  I was aware of a sense of relief that this occurred in a safe area in the daylight. Kind souls let me back into the school I had just left which allowed me to get some work done. 

                After receiving a text that assistance would soon arrive I went back to the car. The next 30 minutes involved several phone calls from the driver trying to figure out exactly where I was after GPS led him astray. During the third phone call he expressed his frustration with being led astray and how he often is called all kinds of names by angry people waiting for assistance.Without pause I responded with a promise not to call him any names or to express anything but gratitude for his assistance. Once he arrived he quickly opened my car and sent me on my way with a warm goodbye and a wish for a safe evening.

                It was only as I was driving home that I paused to think about my awareness and reactions through the afternoon.I realized that a situation that once would have only brought frustration, anger and impatience took on a whole different experience. My gratitude practice with my friend, 20 years of praying the psalms in the monastery, and many other practices over the years have shaped my reactions that afternoon. The return on investment of my time and focus was evident last week. The unwelcomed and unexpected event became an opportunity for gratitude, awareness of grace, and even joy at the kindness of others.

This experience gives me hope to persevere even when I wonder about the impact of my investment.   It also reminds me of my own humanness as I now work on being more mindful (especially when getting out of the car). May each of us persevere in those practices which mold us into more kind, compassionate and grateful human beings!

Sr. Kimberly Porter, OSB