The Mystery of Friendship

     Do you have a friend, a really good friend? Have you ever thought about what holds the two of you together? Sometimes there is no ready answer to this question? Why this person and not another? Personally I have never really tried to dissect any of these relationships, but I appreciate them as rare gifts.

     Recently I’ve begun to see these gifts as part of a much bigger treasure. Each relationship is somehow a part of the mystery of God and a glimpse into the living reality of God’s incarnation into our world.

     The other day Fr. Bill Cleves gave a presentation here at St.Walburg on Pope Francis’ Exsultate et Gaudete; the letter is about our call to holiness. Fr. Cleves'  talk was rich with insight into Francis’ reflections. One of the threads I found weaving through his remarks was the theme of God as community and how, as a people of faith, we are part of this divine relationship. He points out that for Francis, the call to holiness is a journey with others, not alone. This is where I see the God-connection with friendship.

     A major element in friendship is in the self--giving that occurs in moments or over years. As each person gives part of self, bonds get stronger. These are Godly acts! We find in the Hebrew bible and other sacred texts across many cultures that creation is God’s self-giving, God’s outpouring. God as Father, Son, and Spirit, is a Trinity of Self-giving, which is another way of saying God is Love and the Source of all bonding within creation. God is Community. The Dalai Lama has said, “…our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence,” and Fr. Cleves reflected the other day: “We are most divine when we are in communion.” These things are true because God is communion.

     One doesn’t have to be a theologian, however, to recognize the reality and significance of the bonds between human beings.

•  “If we were good at everything we would have no need for each other.” Simon Sinek, British-American author and organizational consultant.
• “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence…” Erik Erikson, German-American psychologist and psychoanalyst.
• “When we seek for connection we restore the world to wholeness.” Margaret J. Wheatley, American writer and management consultant

     Then too, a casual stroll through almost any drug, grocery, or discount store will reveal hundreds of greeting cards for almost any occasion. Each card is a reminder of how often people want to connect with another person. A friend lets us know that we matter!

           Looking at all this in another way, God gives us other people to remind us that the Divine Presence is always near. During his presentation Fr. Cleves suggested another name for God: “I’m Right Here!”  When we open our eyes and our heart to appreciate a friendly gesture or a jaw-dropping event, that's God saying to us, "I'm Right Here." If we reach out to someone with a consoling or forgiving word, that's God saying to the hurting person, "I'm Right Here."  There is the mystery; there is a re-enactment of the Incarnation. The mystery of God and the mystery of humanity are once again visibly intertwined, God reaching into human life to make us more divine. Through friendship we are truly  immersed in mystery.

       What a gift!

       Sr. Colleen Winston, OSB