Downsizing: A Complex and Challenging Process

       For one reason or another, a lot of people seem to be downsizing lately, and I'm one of them. I'm moving from one of our smaller houses on the monastery grounds to the main building. This has entailed sifting through years of files, libraries of books and photos, archives, and much else. 

       What a journey! Dust covered memories resurrect names, faces, and forces that helped create the person I am today. Gratitude spills out of packs of old letters, cards, and meeting notes as I unearth encounters with people who were important and whose imprint is still somewhere deep within me. 

       My mind dances through the reminders of people I loved, projects I relished, and trips I embraced. My heart once again wraps itself around the painful contacts that generated growth into new relationships even while it grieves over losses. 

       Questions arise about long-ago sharings: Where is he now? Does she remember like I do? Is he still living? What is she doing these days? (I've even created a little file of "lost contacts" to see about tracking them down, something made feasible today by the internet.) 

       The downsizing process is also an exercise in discerning treasure from trash. It's hard when one part of me treasures something at the same time another part of me says it's more sentimentality than treasure. Which is more true? 

       Then there's the physical and psychological stress of the process brought about by deadlines met and missed, goals that seem unachievable, and all the other demands that don't stop because of the need to move. 

       Yes, downsizing is a 2-sided coin, joy and pleasure on one side and painful challenges on the other. We do need to spend the coin, however, to reach a different phase in our life, a place where we can use our past more effectively to renew ourselves and those around us. And, if we are lucky enough to have folks willing to help with this stripping-down process, even our "thank you's" are tinged with the pain of the process. Maybe it's something like mountain climbing: to get to the top is a lot more possible with the support of a team, but it is still a personal act we have to perform, this alternation between releasing one thing and grabbing something new. 

       To all who have downsizing in their present or future, may the joys of remembering and reconnecting outweigh by far the pains of letting go. 

       Sr. Colleen Winston, OSB